Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Economic statement from the House of Jensen outlining how to make a small fortune:

start out with a large fortune.

1. Gamble in speculative stocks but not in tobacco and gambling
2. Ban tenants to whom you lease space (on your land that you got for nothing and don't pay tax on) from gambling related activities like selling Lotto tickets to reinforce your aversion to gambling
3. React slowly with disbelief when thing start to go bad
4. Keep reacting slowly for months
5. Sell at the bottom of the market so you end up with 44M not the 200M you started with
6. Feel bad about it, especially about the funds in which you have a special interest
7. Argue with yourself as to whether you've been ethically dubious and decide you haven't
8. Blame someone else, like God
9. Try to read God's mind, the one that twirls up hurricanes and triggers earthquakes and tsunamis
11. Tell the people who gave you the money why God might have taken all their money - they are sinners, they are arrogant, they indulged in unethical behaviour (unlike their leader), they let their elected reps go to a meeting to talk about another elected rep who thinks homosexuals may just be able to share in the divine love cake
13. Tell the people who gave you the money that if God is punishing them then that means He loves them.
14. Tell the people who gave you all the money that everything you said might be wrong anyway.
15. Resolve to reorganise things so you end up with, at the very least, a small but wealthy cult.

No comments: